Do you prefer aashirwaad and overly diluted sanskaar over story lines? (pfft. Plot?)
Are you hooked on watching how your Simar babe is coping with her new insect life?
(them fly wings tho!!!)
Can you also not get enough of Aatmas, Chudails, Nagins and Vish Kanyas? (multiple orgasms *.*)
Are you addicted to Indian tv shows as well?
Well, you’re at the right place comrades, for we’re going to dissect these gems and explain to you, *drum rolls*
how to get a typical Indian drama.
- Clearly stated plot objective:
The ultimate purpose of any Indian soap is to present a Mary Sue who keeps fighting problems evoked in the daily course of her life, until the budget of the show is and the shit-consuming capacity of viewers, are both exhausted.
It is interesting to note that these problems may include the evil in-laws, sudden bankruptcy, the random possession of characters, terrorist attacks and shape-shifting animals.. You know, the usual everyday stuff.
- Heart-throb dude with the correct balance of adarshwaadi attitude.
Source: New York Observer
Sanskaar ☑ Agyakari ☑ Momma’s boy ☑
Oblivious to the obvious ☑
- Poor helpless chick with a masochist being.
Naive + incomprehensible sense of justice + questionable thickness + Bechari’ness + alarming tolerance of pain= VOILA!
- Glorious presentation and apparel selection
Beings shall never adhere to normal human trends of wearing comfortable clothes. A fully made-up face and all the jewellery they own piled up is the right way they to sleep. And the size of your bindi and the amount of makeup you have on are directly proportionate to how evil you are.
#nomakeup #wokeuplikedizz #naturalz
- Immortal beings
Grandmothers and grandfathers live for more than 200 years, teaching the grandchildren of their grandchildren about the ways of life. :’)
- Unrestrained dramatization
The whole spectrum of extreme reactions – the loud gasps, the over-the-top snarky retorts, the reverberating slaps, the dropped thalis, the swooning womenfolk, are the basics of a daily soap.
- Crazy evil reception sensors
The need for understanding all the shaguns and apshaguns is a must while creating a daily soap. All the dropped thaalis, broken mirrors, crows, sudden yellowing tatti and extinguished flames are indicators and should never go unnoticed.
- Coexistence of shape-shifting divine species
The latest addition in our book, ‘the guide to a generic daily soap’, is the presence of divinely and superhuman beings who can occasionally shape-shift, to fulfill their objectives. HISS HISS MODAFAQA!!
- Let’s not forget THUNDERSTORMS.
More background noise than dialogues is the mantra that delivers these artistic pieces and impactful storyline with exceeding excellence that are surely a sight for sore eyes.
- Occasional killings and resurrections.
One must remember that death is hardly an obstacle when you’re developing dramatic excellence. The characters can always come back from the dead, whether it is Mihir Virani or Jon snow.
Side note: Mihir bro needs no Melisandre for this shit.
- The time travel
You might not be aware of this but an average daily soap covers more time travel in a month than Dr. Who’s all of the seasons taken together.
After each leap, the characters might dress slightly differently, but not a single extra grey hair on their heads, not a single kilo of weight gain or loss, not a single new wrinkle, on those perfectly made up faces, will appear.
With this, we have covered all the basics of a mainstream television show. These pointers accompanied by complicated pregnancies, the lavish weddings, sudden bankruptcy, magical companies that develop on their own while the extreme philanthropic leads fret over perfecting dates with their baes, the sub-standard lone Temple in the world where everyone worships and multiplies their adarshs and stuff; makes the Indian daily soaps truly spectacular.
By Vasundhra Aggarwal