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Budget’ 17: Remonetisation from Demonetisation?

Missed the ‘budget bhashan’ today or the shit was too complicated to be understood or was it plain boring and you switched to the repeat telecast of sasural simar ka?
Worry not, here’s everything you need to know about the First combined Budget 2017 of Independent India.

-Union finance minister, Arun Jaitley presented the latest budget praising India’s economic growth and stating how it’s standing on a bright spot amid world economic doom.

-the main agenda of the budget, as stated by Jaitley bro, is TEC i.e. Transform (the poverty-stricken areas), Energise (the agricultural sector and infrastructure) and Clean (India’s money and it’s hoarders). Talk about cool acronyms.

-Jaitley quoted Gandhi, “a right cause never fails” to state that demonetization was a bold and decisive measure required for the country since tax evasion had become a way of life for many. He claimed that the ‘note-bandi’ is expected to only have a transient impact on economy and remonetization has picked up.

– He talked facts and figures and revealed:
•Between 2 Lakh and 80 Lakh Rs. deposited in ‘1.09 Cr accounts’, an average of 5.03 Lakhs.
•’1.48 Lakh accounts’ were deposited with sums more than 80 Lakhs Rs. with average being 3.31 Cr.
•34.8% increase in Personal Income Tax declared – the Highest Ever!
Long story short ‘demonetisation = such money, much WoW’
1.25 crore people have already adopted Bhim App for digital payments (*brag brag*)
133-km road per day constructed under Pradhan Mantri Gram Sadak Yojana as against 73-km in 2011-14. Government be like Ek sadak banaunga tere ghar ke saamne 🎶 ksry.

-Income Tax Reduced!! That caught your attention right? 😏
•Personal Income tax for individuals earning between 2.5 Lakh to 5 Lakh reduced to 5% !
•Only ‘One page IT Return’ form for people earning less than 5 lakh!
•’Zero Tax Liability’ for individuals earning up to 3.5 Lakhs.
•10% Surcharge for individuals earning more than 50 Lakhs.

-Total Expenditure: 21 Lakh 47 Thousand Crores. Fiscal Deficit to be pegged at 3.2% of GDP.
•Total allocation for rural, agricultural and allied sectors for 2017-18 is Rs 1, 87, 223 crores, which is 24% higher than last year
•allocation under MNREGA (*ahem previously called a Congress disaster ahem*) increased to 48, 000 crores
•Allocation for infrastructure stands at a record Rs 3,96,135 crore
•Defence expenditure excluding pension at Rs 2.74 lakh crore

-For railways?
22% increase in ‘Rail Budget’!
1 Lakh Crore ‘Rail Safety Fund’!
3500km railway lines to be put up
Service charge on rail tickets booked through IRCTC to be withdrawn (*boom boom tatkaaling the shit out now*)
500 rail stations to be made differently abled-friendly by providing lifts and escalators
7000 ‘Solar Powered’ Railway Stations soon.
By 2019, all coaches of Indian Railways to have ‘Bio-Toilets’!
‘New Metro Rail Policy & Metro Rail Act’ for promoting newer models!
IRCTC and other Gov Org to be ‘Listed on Stock Exchanges’!

-in the medical sector.
2 new AIIMS (which is All Indian Institute of Medical Sciences btw), in Jharkhand and Gujarat.
More PG seats to ensure more Specialist Doctors.
New Drug Policy to be launched soon to ensure lower drug prices.
Adhar Based Heath Schemes for senior citizens to be introduced.
Action plan to ‘Eliminate’ Kala Azar & Filariasis by 2017, Leprosy by 2018, Measles by 2020 & Tuberculosis by 2025!
‘DigiGaon Programme’ for TeleMedicine and Education.
-‘Political Funding’:
Political parties will be entitled to receive donations by cheques or digital modes and up to Rs. 2000 (down from Rs. 20,000) only from one source. knock knock its opposition protest. Just want to have a talk

-other stuff.
‘Custom Duty on LNG’ reduced by 50% – 2.5% now.
No transaction above ‘3 Lakh to be permitted in cash’, suitable changes to be made in respective acts. looks at wallet with 3rs. No-problem
Tax for companies with annual turnover up to 50 Cr reduced by 5%, ~ 6 Lakh companies to benefit.
new law to confiscate assets of offenders who escape the country. NO more Mallya shit yo.
Aadhaar Pay- an app for merchants- to be launched’ 20 lakh aadhaar-based POS by September 2017
Soldiers will not need to stand in line for tickets, would be able to do it online.
‘National Testing Agency’ to conduct all examinations in higher education, freeing CBSE and other agencies from administrative responsibilities to concentrate on education!
Head Post office will act as a front office for ‘Passport Services’!
1Lakh 50 Thousand Gram Panchayats to be connected by an opticfibre network, will have Hotspots!

Phew!

 

By Vasundhra Aggarwal